Mystery Sonic Theater 3000
by Obsidian the Dragon
Summary: Sonic is trapped on the Satelite of Love and is forced to read bad fanfics. With the help of Tom Servo and Crow, can he keep his sanity through the torture?


**Mystery Sonic Theater 3000**

_In the not so distant future,_

_Way down in Deep 16._

_Dr. Forrester and Dr. Eggman,_

_Were hatching a nasty scheme._

_They needed a subject, the perfect type._

_A famous blue hedgehog they didn't like._

_They figured he was a good test case._

_So they conked him on the noggin and they shot him into space! _(Get me down!)

_We'll send him cheesy movies._

_The worst we can find. (La la la)_

_He'll have to sit and watch them all, and we'll monitor his mind. (La la la)_

_Now keep in mind, Sonic can't control where the movies begin or end. (La la la)_

_He'll try to keep his sanity with the help of his robot friends._

_Robot Roll Call!_

Cambot!

Gypsy!

Tom Servo!

Crooooow!

_If you're wondering how he eats and breathes, and other science facts,_

_Just repeat to yourself; "It's just a show. I should really just relax."_

_For Mystery Sonic Theater 3000!  
_

Aboard the Satellite of Love, Sonic was talking to Tom Servo, a red robot who seemed to have a gumball machine for a head and had two puny, seemingly useless arms.

"So let me get this straight," Servo said. "You got an anonymous invitation to a once-in-a-lifetime space cruise, telling you to pack up your personal belongings, and arrive at six a.m. sharp, and then someone hit you on the head with a mallet and knocked you out cold."

"Yep," Sonic concluded. "The next thing I know, I'm up on this satellite talking to a robot made of spare parts."

"Interesting," Servo said. As he was about to ask more questions, a gold colored robot with a strange resemblance to a bird walked in.

"Hey Tom," the gold robot said, "we're out of paper towels again."

"Hey Crow," Tom said. "Guess what. Sonic the Hedgehog is on the Satellite of Love with us!"

"Sonic the Hedgehog?" the gold one named Crow responded, "as in _the_ Sonic the Hedgehog? Never heard of him."

Sonic was dumbstruck that Crow hadn't heard of him until Servo stepped in. "Ignore him Sonic," the red robot said. "He's just clowning around."

"I'll show you who's clowning around," Crow threatened.

"Communication signal detected," a computer-like voice spoke. "Establishing communication."

"Cambot feed video signal on the monitor please," Tom said.

The monitor was filled with static until the picture came in, showing a familiar egg-shaped man. "Salutations Hedgehog," the man said.

"EGGMAN!" Sonic exclaimed. "So you're behind this!"

"My," Eggman queered. "You're quick the plot. Yes, I am behind this, but not alone." He gestured to a man in a green lab coat with crazy looking hair and a regular moustache.

"Forrester!" the robots yelled. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you think?" Forrester said. "We're going to take over the world using the method I used on Joel and Mike."

The two robots groaned. "You're gonna make us watch bad movies again?" Crow asked. "That's just great."

"Are you comfortable Sonic?" Eggman asked. "I would hope so, because your first movie is the first chapter of a fan fiction called 'Poor Miles'. It shouldn't take long. Enjoy." With that he pressed a button on the console.

"Bad movies," Sonic moaned. "Aw geez, this is a whole new low."

"Listen Sonic," Tom said, "when we get the movie sign, just follow our lead. Do what we do."

"Okay," Sonic said, "but what's the movie sign?" A siren began to buzz and lights started to flash all of a sudden.

"We've got movie sign!" Tom and Crow shouted. The two ran off to the side with Sonic following when he saw Cambot moving towards him and through the door.

6…

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

The trio entered the theater and sat down as the movie began to play.

Sonic: So what is it you guys do?

Tom: You see, Sonic (Whispers in his ear)

Sonic: Oh, I see.

_**Poor Miles**_

Crow: Miles to the gallon? More like gallons to the mile!

_6/2/2012 Deathy: It's 8;34pm and I'm retyping an old fanfiction from last year. Enjoy!_

Sonic: I doubt it.

_Disclaimer: I own nothing!_

Tom: I regret nothing!

_Miles Prower sat at his work bench diligently. There were a lot of things that needed attending too._

Sonic: I have to attend the science convention then the astrology convention then the brony convention. My weekend is packed!

_Scourge had totally ruined their lives and pretty much damaged everything else. Since him, Boomer, and Dr. Kintobor were the only ones who knew how to fix everything, Boomer and him got stuck with all the work. Apparently no one wanted to ask Dr. Kintobor for help since they always hated and tortured the guy._

Crow (Imitating Miles): Now what episode of Bonkers should we show him next?

_"It'll be so undignifying that I'll die." Miles commented to himself._

Tom: He then had a heart attack, stroke, and seizure all at the same time, and died.

_Boomer, however, had left to god knows where, leaving him to do all of the work. Seeing all the damage first had and attempting to repair it all, Miles was actually contemplating getting Dr. Kintobor's help. Then he grew angry at Boomer for leaving and vowed to make him pay._

Crow (Imitating Miles): He still owes me fifty dollars!

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

Sonic: Who's there?

_CREAK!_

Sonic: "CREAK" who?

_"Hey Miles! You home?" A very familiar French accent called from upstairs._

Crow: We can't tell if it was French or German. They all sound the same.

_"Does he not know to wait for a response?" Miles asked, putting his work down for a moment._

Tom: He put it down just to pick it back up again.

_Walking upstairs, he saw the intruder happily walking around his living room._

Sonic: I think we know what he did before coming here.

_"Do you not know that you should wait to be invited before waltzing in here?" Miles asked, crossing his arms across his chest._

_"Well, if I did, you would never invite me in!" Patch said making a joke out of it._

TSC (Tom, Sonic, and Crow) [Deadpan]: LAME!

_Miles took a deep breath. "Fine." After another sigh, "What do you want then?"_

Crow: Your money!

Tom: Your car!

Sonic: Your life!

_"Oh, zat!" Patch said walking into the kitchen. "I brought you a present!" He grabbed a big box and placed it on the table._

Tom: (Imitating Miles) Oh boy! I've always wanted a box for my table!

_Miles titled his head and stared at the box. It was condensating._

Crow: It thinks it's in a police interrogation.

Sonic: Maybe the box has stage fright.

Tom: (Singing) Stage fright! Oh my! Won't you let go! Oh my! Stage Fright! On with the show!*

_"What is that?" He asked confused._

Sonic: It's a wet box. Duh!

_Patch shook his head. "Zis my comrade ez what we call alcohol. Surely you've heard of it?" he said as he motioned the yellow two tailed fox in the kitchen._

Crow: (Imitating Miles) No. What is alcohol?

_Miles walked in reluctantly. He stared at the can that Patch pulled out of the box with a look of uncertainty on his face. "So, why did you bring it here?" He asked._

Sonic: So you can learn how to binge!

_"It ez for you!" Patch said putting the cold, wet can in his hands. "It ez ze present I bought you!" Patch seemed very happy, though Miles didn't understand._

Tom: His accent was just too thick.

_"Why are you giving me alcohol?" Miles asked examining the can._

_"Because, you need to celebrate!" Patch stated grabbing a can for himself._

Crow: (Imitating Patch) This ez part one of how we celebrate. Part two ez an-

Tom: Crow! Nothing above the "T" rating!

_"What are we – you – celebrating?" Miles asked, looking up from the can. It was moments like these that Patch could tell that Miles was just a kid. Though Miles would vehemently deny it and pout all day if you said it._

Sonic: He's really good at that.

_"Miles, you can't be serious?" Patch asked in shock. "You've been made our leader a few days ago and today ez your birthday!_

Tom: If you can't remember your own birthday, you don't need alcohol. You need a freaking psychiatrist!

_You've been blessed with good luck! You should totally celebrate!" Patch stated holding his can up high as he sat down and leaned back in his chair. Miles sat across form him still confused._

_"How are we supposed to celebrate with alcohol?" Miles asked._

Crow: (Imitating Patch) You pour it all over your head, and put a lit match in your hair.

_Patch look at him in shock and then bursted out laughing._

Tom: Well, we're not!

_Miles looked up from his rather childish rambling to glare at Patch. It looked more like a pout though._

Sonic: Like I said; he's good at that!

_"You drink it." Patch told him when he was able to control his laugher. "You know, like a soda. Except you drink it on special occasions like a birthday, New Years, Christmas, Weddings, and when really good things happen."_

Crow: Like when you hit puberty!

_"Now drink up!" He said opening his own can and taking a gulp._

Tom: (Imitating Patch) Crap! Ze beer ez frozen!

_Miles opened the can slowly. Something about this felt wrong to him. He slowly took a gulp like Patch did._

_"It burns!" Miles coughed._

Sonic: I got it from some guys in the mountains. They called it moonshine!

_"That ez normal." Patch stated with a smile. "Now why don't I order some pizza so we can continue celebrating?"_

_"Why does it-?"_

_"Burn? Don't worry about it, that ez normal, but it won't burn for long." Patch stated, getting up and dialing the pizza place. Miles kept drink from the can._

Tom: (Imitating Miles) Gah! It still burns.

_If only Patch had known, then he could've stopped it. Instead, he regrets it deeply._

Crow: I regret even looking at this bore fest!

_6/2/2012 Deathy: 9pm It's now rewritten. Hopefully it's easier to understand for people. I'm sure I've fixed the spelling and grammar errors. I might re-type chapter 2 later. Maybe. Please READ & REVIEW!_

Sonic: We've read it now here's a review;

TSC: IT STINKS!

The three then walked out of the theater.

Outside the theater, Tom was busy thinking about things when Crow came in holding a picture frame.

"Hey Tom," the gold robot said. "Look what I found in Sonic's room." He showed him the picture to reveal a lilac colored cat in purple robes and adorned with a pony tail and a gem on her forehead.

"Hey," Tom said. "She's pretty. Well, for a cat that is. Do you think she's Sonic's girlfriend?"

"I dunno," Crow said. "I can't really see it happening. A cat and a hedgehog being together? It just looks weird."

"I find it romantic," Tom said.

"You'd find anything romantic," Crow said.

"You're jealous that I always get the ladies."

"You're just envying me because I know more about romance than you!"

"Twilight has as much romance as you!"

"Why you little-!"

"Okay!" Sonic intervened. "What's all this about."

"Crow found this picture of a cat in your room and we ended up arguing over romance," Tom told Sonic.

"Tattletale," Crow muttered. Sonic swiped the picture out of Crow's hand.

"I'm taking this back to my room," he said. "You two better behave!"

As the blue hedgehog walked to his room the two bots sighed. "Hey Tom," Crow said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything that I said."

"I'm sorry for what I said about you and Twilight," Tom responded.

"Oh, that's okay. Twilight is a pretty bad book."

"I just hope Forrester and Eggman don't have us read it."

"You never know."

"Oh dear."

**Okay! First chapter is done! Now I don't mean offence to the author of the fanfiction featured in this chapter, or any future chapters. I'm just making fun of the work and the work alone. So please don't hate me if I hurt you, because I don't mean to be an awful person. Now then, please leave a review and give suggestions on how I can improve. If you have an idea of a story I can use send it to me via reviews, or PM's. See you!**

***Stage Fright by Def Leppard**


End file.
